I Hate Dimes!

Dimes are the stupidest form of currency ever invented. This web site is dedicated to my utter hatred for Dimes. My goal is to eliminate Dimes from society. I ask that you send me all your Dimes so that I can use them to fund an anti-Dime movement.

NEVER STOP FIGHTING DIMES!!

Today is October 7th, 2008. I have recently escaped illegal incarceration by the FOPTCC. I suffered torture and humiliation, and only saw freedom after the actions of several brave members of the Anti-Dime Coalition. I apologize for the downtime of I Hate Dimes, but with the FOPTCC crippled, I must use this opportunity to strike out against our ten cent oppressors.

Many of you know that dimes have but one redeeming quality: the defeat of polio by The March of Dimes. At this time of rebirth for the Anti-Dime Coalition, I must ask all of you out there to never spend another dime as currency! If you encounter a dime, isolate it immediately from your other monetary units and send it DIRECTLY to the The March of Dimes. Once there, the vile ten-cent disc will be stripped of its ability to do any evil by being forced to fund research to prevent birth defects. This may sound heartwarming and compassionate coming from the leader of a militant anti-currency movement, but rest assured my rage continues to be deepset and potent. The thought of all repugnant, baby-eating dimes forced to work towards the health of the very innocence they lust to corrupt fills me with maniacal joy.

So please, never use dimes as currency! Protect your infants by sending ALL your dimes to The March Of Dimes right away! This is the only way we can overcome the evils of Dimes and the FOPTCC!

RAID!!!!!

On June 6th, 2005, my new home was raided by men identifying themselves as officers from the Federal Order of Protection of Ten Cent Currency. I was held down while many of my anti-dime items were confiscated, including a hand-made prototype for an Anti-Dime Pamphlet demonstrating the dangers of Dimes! This pamphlet will be auctioned on E-bay by the FOPTCC!
Please do not bid on this item! You will be funding the opposition of the anti-dime movement!

MEDIA SUPPORT!!!!!

On May 26th, The founder of the Anti Dime Coalition was interviewed by Seattle radio station 107.7 The End. This was an exclusive interview, and our founder will be making no further radio apperences at this time.

CONSPIRACY!!!!!

At 8:27 am Pacific Standard Time on Tuesday, May 24, the Anti-Dime Coalition suffered a severe blow. At this time, the chairman of the Anti-Dime Coalition WAS EVICTED FROM HIS HOUSE BY HIS LANDLADY BECAUSE HE POSTED THE HOUSE ADDRESS ON THIS WEBSITE. The chairman has agreed to leave peacefully to avoid an immediate scene, but the Anti-Dime Coalition is now without a headquarters.

A note from our leader: Please disregard the address once posted on this site, and do not harass or contact my landlady. I do not blame her for these events. I blame dimes. It is my belief that THE DIMES THEMSELVES have conspired against me to enrage my landlady against me. The Anti-Dime Coalition scientists are working around the clock to determine how this was possible. Please stay tuned as we search for a new headquarters.

I repeat, PLEASE SEND NO MORE PACKAGES OR CORRESPONDENCE TO THE ADDRESS PREVIOUSLY POSTED ON THIS SITE.

Reasons why Dimes suck:

• Dollars are made up of Quarters. Quarters are made up of Nickels. Nickels are made up of Pennies. There is no place for Dimes in this system. A Quarter can not be divided up into Dimes unless you go through the trouble of cutting a Dime perfectly in half. Most establishments lack the resources to accomplish this for you when giving you your change.
• Dimes have no purpose in the division of money. A hard-working Nickel carries the value of 5 Pennies, but the lazy Dime gets away with doing only twice the work of the Nickel - All while the Quarter effortlessly pulls the weight of 5 Nickels that the Dime should be pulling.
• Because they are so lazy, Dimes have become scrawny and weak. The Dime is the smallest coin, smaller even than the noble Penny. Compared to the burly Quarter and the hard-working Nickel, Dimes are the bottom of the monetary food chain. So lazy are the Dimes that often they will be hiding amongst Pennies to avoid the work of being spent. The Pennys' size behooves them, as it makes it easier to save them in bulk to amass their collected value, but the Dimes' reduced size simply makes it harder to find them among all the other useful change.
• The symbols on the back of the Dime are stupid. Pennies display the Lincoln Memorial and Nickels display Monticello, both important symbols of America. On the back of the Quarter is our national bird, the Bald Eagle, but for some reason the Dime has the Olympic torch on the back. While Greg Luganis cracking his head on a diving board is a memorable event, it doesn't belong between Monticello and a Bald Eagle. Apparently, though, the Olympic torch does belong between an oak sapling and an olive branch. Olive branches may have been bursting with meaning back in rome 3000 years ago, but they don't mean much to anyone now.
• Who is the face on the Dime? The Dime doesn't deserve me doing research for it. I recognize Lincoln on the Penny, Jefferson on the Nickel and Washington on the Quarter. Is the Dime guy even a president? I learned the preambles of the Constitution in 3rd grade and I can still recite them on demand, but I can't recall ever being taught about the guy on the Dime. If he's important enough to be on money, why don't I know who he is?
  UPDATE!!! - Due to the popularity of the I Hate Dimes movement, I have in fact done my research to discover that the face on the dime is Franklin D. Roosevelt, considered one of the greatest US president of all time. I wholeheartedly agree, and ask why have we rewarded such a great man with a tiny unrecognizable picture on our smallest coin? The man who led us to defeat the Nazis deserves more then to be immortalized on a coin used to describe a small bag of marajuana! I say we create a beautiful two dollar coin - gold and silver like the Canadian "Toonie" or the old French "10 Franc" - to properly credit the great F.D.R. Besides, can we really let France and Canada have cooler coins then the U.S.? Get F.D.R. off the pathetic dime and onto a GOOD coin!
• The Dime can't even get E Pluribus Unim right. I don't need to look it up to know that E Pluribus Unim means "The Many Are One." It's written on all our money except the Dime. Instead, if you look at a Dime you will see "Eplu Rib Usu Num." Now my Latin isn't the greatest, but I'm fairly certain that doesn't mean anything.
• The March of Dimes may have cured Polio, but a march of Quarters would have cured it 250% faster.

Dimes have no place in society. Please collect all the Dimes you can find and send them to me so I can use them to speak out against Dimes. Every Dime you send me will be used for my tireless quest to have Dimes discontinued, rounded up and destroyed. Do not weep for the Dimes. They are devil beings that deserve no mercy.

Dimes are known to eat babies, but prefer the flesh of adorable newborn kittens and bunnies. Every Dime you turn in will be kept in a secure location, far away from everything beautiful and good in this world. Remember, Dimes live only to burn and decimate everything you hold dear. They sow only anger and reap only ruin. Dimes are vile, evil beings and only together can we reign them in.

I hate Dimes is a comedy site created by Jeremy Kayes of Studio Splurd. Despite the inexplicable popularity of this site, the creator honestly never made any money with the original scam. It was intended to be a farce scam to parody Save Toby.

If, after reading this site, you find yourself repulsed by every dime in your posession, we reccomend sending them to The March Of Dimes to help improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality.